Odd Things Found

Strolling around The (Edin)Burgher.

They forgot to tell him you don't eat the skin.

Upstanding citizen turned highwayman. Hmmm....

Poor chap. People were being singularly unhelpful- he's probably still there.

Inspect this seemingly ordinary scene. Please pay particular notice to the windows.

Now inspect closer. Way to relax. Spotted courtesy of P&S. The raised window is looking painfully precarious.

And finally, the Oddest Thing of all. Witness papa's expression.
Copy away, people. He's not going to thank me when this goes viral. 

*evil gleeful grin*

THATS ALL FOR TODAY FOLKS. I'VE A RIGHT TO FEEL LAZY.

Muck-Up Day

The main characteristic of S6 Muck-Up day, is that no-one touches anything.

Naturally each leaving Year at least contemplate attempting something altogether unique and special as their last parting farewell to Knox Academy, however there are some basic traditional practices which simply can't be dispensed with.

Superglue on bannisters

Syrup on doorhandles

Laxative in drinking water

Itching powder on toilet seats

Flower Bombs in corridors

... to name a few.

Consequently, all us hardened veterans of half a dozen leaving years treat survival on this day as a near-military operation. Plastic gloves are obtained as basic necessities, gas masks coveted, and if you're not lucky enough to swiftly make friends with someone living within sprinting distance of the school and don't fancy spending the day squirming in discomfort it's highly unadvisable to drink anything before lunchtime.

Unwary First Years are offered up as easy prey.

Sabotage!

Right, well this year I've convinced myself to make some sort of sacrifice for lent- not because of any sudden religious impulse, but rather in solidarity with Bethie who each year appears to be suffering alone for a solid forty days.

Admittedly I'm not prepared to go to quite the lengths which she is. My self-denial will be that of chocolate, whereas Beth is abstaining from chocolate, sweets, in short practically everything except sponge cake. As I don't really eat sweets anyway giving them up seems a tad pointless and also deprive me of anything on which to binge in the case of an emergency.

Now roughly a week and a half in and I have been pushed to the edge of endurance. With no chocolate around my task is really quite easy, however people have been attempting to sabotage me right from the off.

____________________________________________________

Wednesday (Day 1)
Percy and Dodie buy a Thorntons Chocolate cake. I am under the misconception that Lent does not being until tomorrow. It does not end well.

However since this is clearly the fault of Lent for starting before I was aware of it, I'm studiously ignoring this small discrepancy.
In short, it doesn't count.

Saturday (Day 4)
Percy buys a packet of Revels. I immediately exit the house, insisting that they be gone when I return. No fear on that score.

Wednesday (Day 8)
I return home from school absolutely knackered, only to find that Dodie has saved me a blindingly gorgeous chocolate chip cookie. I go to eat it, then realisation hits. Hard.

Sunday (Day 12)
Having walked c. 7 1/2 miles with the Ramblers I come in truly desperate. Dodie offers me the chocolate cake she has just baked, which Lyovka and some friends are halfway through consuming. I point out my problem. "Okay then, well have some Celebrations instead. Oh...". Yep 'Oh'.
I substitute with a scone. I am envied by no-one.

____________________________________________________


Despite this I am resolutely holding firm. Only 28 more days....

I have been Walking

... and as I was walking, I decided to take some photos, depicting the most Interesting and Noteworthy things (currently) in Haddington, for the benefit of the future burgeoning traveller or interpid explorer.

Item 1.  Dangers at every turn, a warning sign erected by thoughtful natives.

Item 2. Some berries will sustain an adventurer (but all the rest are poisonus).

Item 3. Weather is turbulent and unpredictable. Unadvisable to be caught in a rainstorn unprepared (without a bike).

Item 4. The wildlife is typically reclusive (spot the frog).

Item 5. Artwork is heavily indulged in by minority groups of locals.

Item 6. Help is at hand.
(N.B. the sign is damaged)

Haddington, a.k.a., Land of Adventure.

The UNTHINKABLE has happpened.

TESCO RAN OUT OF PLASTIC BAGS! 

What?!?! This doesn't happen. It CAN'T happen.

   Dear Tesco's (/possibly Sir and/or Madam)

Common knowledge/sense and popular myth clearly states that Tesco can never, NEVER run out of tesco bags.
There are millions of them, and they are everywhere. You can't run out of the infinite.

Yet this is exactly the situation I was confronted with, having strolled unsuspectingly into our local chain, and bought enough loot to fill a small truck.

 I have been shocked and disillusioned, and I profess myself at a loss; how can I continue day to day having to live always with the niggling fear that when I go to purchase my daily wares, I may yet again be forced to leave, balancing products off every available orfice?

Which came first, Tesco, or the Tesco bag? I'm not sure, but surely it is an integral part of Tesco's duty to supply the masses with a never-ending provision of these synthetic wonders.

2012 is Nigh, and evidently, it's beginning to tell.

Yours sincerely,

A Disgruntled Customer


.... Over and out.


A Brief Update

After an intense scrutiny of the Tesco website, I can find no obvious way to complain. This strikes me as distinctly un-British.


I wouldn't be so vindictive; but my arm hurts.

A Cat Poem

Written a while ago, but I think it's passable, in a quirky sort of way (I have a photo to go with it!);

Cats

Some people think cats are a nuisance,
I for one, don't believe I agree,
But much though I myself love them,
They seem disapproving of me.

I suspect that they feel some resentment,
To the shape of my eyebrows and nose,
My friends say that I shouldn't blame them,
They shy away from the stench of my toes.

According to people who notice,
This rather unfortunate fact;
When I near an innocent pussy,
That pussy is driven to act!

If I look at a cat then it growls
I try nearing a cat and it bites,
I try stroking a cat then it howls!
They're denying me of my cat-loving rights.

Some people think cats are a nuisance,
I for one, don't believe I agree,
But much as I myself love them,
They seem disapproving of me.

Liska